Twitter Rules for Old White Guys

So this is an opinion piece, take it for what it is. Feel free to correct me, how will I learn otherwise?

Being a straight, white, middle aged man on Twitter is hard.

Before you rip me a new one let me explain. I understand the privilege that comes with each of those things, let alone all of them combined. It is precisely that privilege that makes it hard to be on social media, and Twitter in-particular.

Now this isn’t whining, I am not suggesting it is harder for me than anyone else, nor that the hardship comes from external sources. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is hard. If you are unfit, through your own actions, then climbing stairs is hard. It’s your fault it is hard, but that doesn’t change the fact that the act is indeed hard.

In this situation it is hard because you have to think through what you say and who you say it to. Now I know what you’re thinking, you should always do that, and you’re right. But face it Twitter is a fast to tweet, fast to consume, medium. We have all said things we shouldn’t have, or not thought through something before saying it.

If you approach Twitter like that as a part of a privileged group you are going to have a bad time. The people reading your tweets probably don’t know you, they have no idea of your morals or ideals, and Tweets are short. Getting complex thoughts out is hard.

If you don’t really think through what you’re saying you’re going to get eaten alive, if it is bad enough you’re going to get repeatedly quote tweeted, if you’re really unlucky some huge account will do it and you’re going to get abused for a long time. You can delete it, but screenshots exist, you can realize your mistake and apologize, but the number of people that see the apology will pale in comparison to the number that see the initial tweet.

Hell, I might get ratioed to death for even posting these thoughts lol. But it is what it is.

Rules for Us Old Guys

I called this hard, but it isn’t really hard. It just requires thinking first, and realizing when you should, or should not, comment.

1. If you are commenting on a situation where any sort of marginalized group is the topic, if your comment isn’t support. Keep it to yourself. If you are commenting on women’s rights, either support them or shut up. LGBTQ rights? Support them or shut up. Basically if you are commenting on something, but do not have the life experience to comment from a position of knowledge… shut up.
2. If you are responding to a woman, remember that women on social media are regularly mansplained to. Meaning men, take it upon themselves, to explain to the poor unknowledgeable woman, where she got it wrong. Unless a woman is asking a question directly, don’t try to explain a situation to her. Now, I am going to put the caveat that if a woman posts a take that you disagree with, hey that’s fair game. Just respond to them like you would your buddy at the bar. If your “explanation” has anything relating to gender… shut up. You’re allowed to disagree, you aren’t allowed to think you know more because you’re male (unless the topic is about a male thing that women don’t experience, in that situation… women, shut up, sorry but the rules apply to you too.)
3. Remember your privilege. Please don’t talk to me about how you worked hard for everything you have. We all do that. Privilege is not a silver platter. Privilege is never having to work harder for the things you have than someone else because of their gender, sexual orientation, age, winning the birth lottery, etc. Poor people are not your enemy, you don’t have to explain to them how to succeed. Sick people don’t need you to explain to them the things they should do to get better, unless they ask, they’ve probably tried everything you’re going to say.
4. This is one of the worst. If someone takes an issue, and comments on the race/gender/whatever aspect of that issue do NOT respond with “How are you making this about race?”. If you don’t understand how it is about race, there is a reason for that. Trust them.
5. PS. Believe the victim. Always

Twitter can be a minefield for middle aged, straight, white men. The reason for that is our privilege. It’s only ever a problem when we assume to know things we don’t, or comment on something we shouldn’t.

One final word. We ALL make mistakes. We ALL say things we shouldn’t no matter how much thought we put in first. We are ALL wrong sometimes. There is one thing you should do when this happens. Apologize. No buts, no explanations. Apologize. “I was wrong, I am sorry”

PS. A small word for everyone else. Please try to remember that we grew up in a different time. Before social media. It was a simpler time (not necessarily a better one). So sometimes, cut us some slack for that. Not all the dumb comments we make are a result of malice. Try to explain why the comment was bad/unnecessary with the assumption malice wasn’t intended. We’re still learning, and some of us old dogs can indeed learn new tricks. Slapping our snouts isn’t a good way to teach.