Hockey is Toxic…

This is going to be a tough topic, one that I am sure is going to generate a lot of hate and name calling. It is also personally difficult to write, because I love hockey. I have loved the game for as long as I can remember, I have been a player, coach and fan since I was very small. I remember sitting in my Grandmother’s living room with the whole family cheering on the Leafs vs the Islanders in 1978 and I’d already been a fan for about 6 years at that point in my life.

I remember being on the pond when the ice was so thin you had to jump from the shore to get past the water, and you couldn’t get too close to other players. If it was a school day that started the second you dropped your books off from the school bus, if it was a weekend it started as soon as you got up. If it was summer, we just moved to the road.

I honestly believe that hockey can be the most beautiful team sport to watch, bar none. So yeah, hockey is ingrained in my life and has been for as long as I can remember. So saying anything bad about the game is hard.

I’m going to ask you, the reader, to keep an open mind until you finish reading. If you still want to call me a leftist pansy fairy, then by all means have at it.

So maybe I should rephrase the title. Hockey itself is not toxic. Hockey culture most assuredly is toxic. It really shouldn’t be surprising, hockey is an exclusive sport based on its cost alone. Yes, I am aware there are programs and other things available for kids that need help, but those programs are not that common and honestly they really don’t count. Hockey is for children of means. At least middle class parents, and in this country at least, primarily white.

What that means is that there is a very narrow demographic among most hockey players, and with narrow demographics you get bias. Now I am not suggesting all hockey players are rich, or racist, or bad, get that out of your head now. But the fact is it IS a very narrow demographic, not racially, gender or class diverse.

It is also predominantly male, and with that comes the machismo. The “tough” moniker. We know it, hell we applaud it. Bobby Baun is an absolute HERO for not only playing on a broken leg but scoring the OT winner in game 6 of the 1964 Stanley Cup final. Anyone that has played has probably “had their bell rung” and begged the coach that they were fine and just “put me back in”. For the record if you had your bell rung… you were concussed.

Hockey fans applaud toughness, we applaud and raise to hero status those that put their personal safety, often their very lives, on the line to win a game. Not only are you not allowed to show emotion, well other than anger, you aren’t even allowed to show pain. Let that sink in. You just “man up” and get on with it. You let the grit take over.

It goes beyond that though. Recent events are actually a bit of a nice change. Hockey fans en masse decided they had had enough of Don Cherry’s outdated and abhorrent views and spoke up. But still there are thousands upon thousands of people upset that he was fired for “just telling it like it is”.

Stories are coming out about Mike Babcock’s behaviour with the Leafs young stars, and now stories are coming out that this isn’t new, he’s been doing this as long as he’s been coaching. Mentally abusing players to “get the most out of them”. Now, think about the fact that this person portrays himself as a “mental health advocate”, he literally said he wanted to make the Leafs a “safe place for players”.

Rachel Doerrie tweeted this shortly after the story broke.

Rachel is not some random Twitter person, she’s been around hockey, she has worked in the NHL. She knows what she is talking about. She goes on to point out that this behaviour isn’t secret, front offices know about it, presidents and GMs know about it and if they don’t exactly condone it they aren’t doing much to stop it either. And people… if you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

And this isn’t just a problem at the pro level where the players are men and millionaires (so according to some fans abusing them mentally is okay). This starts very very young. How many memes are there about hockey parents? How many kids are pushed into this atmosphere?

I coached house league. These kids were never going to be NHL players, they weren’t even going to make Junior C let alone any pro level. I cannot count the number of times I heard a parent berate a child for a bad game, hell a bad PLAY in a good game. I guess this happens in other sports too, I can’t speak to that, but I do feel it happens more in hockey. I can’t remember the last time I saw a sign posted on Facebook on a basketball court telling parents to just let their kids have fun.

I saw the other day that Marner and Matthews draw smiley faces on their gloves. When Marner was asked why his response was “to remind myself that this game is supposed to be fun” If that doesn’t break your heart just a little bit, there is something wrong with you.

Want more evidence that the culture of hockey is toxic? Visit hockey Twitter or Facebook. Especially when someone is hurt or there is something going on like the Don Cherry thing.

“He should have kept his head up!”
“He’s just telling it like it is!”
“Quit being a pussy, hockey is a MAN’S sport”
“They’re trying to make hockey a non-contact pussy sport”

I could go on forever, but this is already long enough. Hockey is a sport, a game, and one I love to the bottom of my heart, but hockey culture is broken. With the recent firing of Don Cherry, the public outcry against the behaviour of Babcock, and a couple of other coaches now, it feels like we’re turning a corner, and in my opinion that is a good thing.

Not wanting to deal with abusive behaviour in the workplace does not make you weak, and no amount of winning can excuse the abuser. Here’s to hoping Mike Babcock, Don Cherry and people that act like they do never work in hockey again. I know that is a tall order, and someone will snap up Babcock because “he wins” but I really hope they don’t. It’s time for this culture to die.